What If?

The holidays are an interesting time of year. Whether celebrating Christmas, Hannukah, or any other day, the world rejoices together, shares love and affection for another, and we catch glimpses of smiles on faces that we may not in July. Its baffling what the power of one holiday can have on society. We exchange gifts, embrace one another, and take brief moments to give thanks for what we have in our lives. Anywhere you go, you can literally feel the love around you from workplaces to grocery stores to subways.The energy around us at this time of year is quite remarkable and fascinating. What if everyday was like the holidays? What if we extended our hands and hearts to others 365 times over in a single year? What would the world be like I wonder? Could it be a Utopia or would it be the same?

Perhaps the single greatest thing about the holidays is the connectedness we allow ourselves to feel. Although often short lived, I believed we have it in us to open ourselves and our eyes up everyday as though it were the holidays. Can you imagine how possibility would change for the better? Can you imagine what we could accomplish if our state of mind was as it is this time of year, everyday? What if we endeavored to treat one another based on where we come from rather then simply who we are on the surface? What if this happened each and everyday on top of the holidays. I imagine it would be magical.

Its fascinating to imagine a world where we openly talk to strangers on trains, praise one another every single day, and feel united as one. I enjoy walking down the streets at this time of year and imagining these pleasant scenarios play out in my head, all while people watching, absorbing the aesthetic beauty of snow, multicolor lights and decorated trees all around. Then, I think to myself-what if?

Happiness, Health, Relationships & Porcupines

As a graduate student in psychology, I see several themes on mental and physical well being reoccur. The importance of social relationships in our lives is one of these themes. Research suggests that happiness levels are linked with the quality and quantity of our social relationships. PBS is soon airing a special on Happiness entitled “The Meaning of Happiness.” In the special, best selling author Elizabeth Gilbert shares some thoughts on happiness and relationships…

“Schopenhauer a pessimist philosopher has a theory of human relationships that was about porcupines, and used that as a metaphor. What he said was that, in love and in relationships with spouses, friends, our family because we are so uncomfortable with our emotions we are all like porcupines out on a cold winters night. They get cold and they need to huddle together to create warmth and connection and then they prick each other, because they have these horrible spines and its painful and so in order to avoid the pain, they retreat. Then it gets cold again and they come together and then they get spined, so then they retreat, then they come together, then they retreat. This dance of intimacy is what defines our relationships with everybody that we encounter. A need to be close, that’s followed by a need to be separated in order to protect ourselves from the inevitable hurt that happens when we get too close. Schopenhauer didn’t have much of a remedy for that, he didn’t think that was ever going to end. He sought of saw that as a need to our human nature. What he suggested was that those who had learned to generate their own warmth were able to keep the safest distance from the other porcupines, which didn’t necessarily mean living a life of isolation. It just meant not impaling yourself on other people so that you could have that critical little space in which to be a little bit self contained to create your own warmth, your own sense of your own humanity so that you can be close without being stabbed. The path to that is the closest secret to human happiness as anything I have ever heard.”

I believe happiness is related to the relationships we have with friends, family, significant others, coworkers, mentors, teammates, and ourselves. Our own psychological immune system relies on these working relationships. That is, our mental well-being relies on our ability to find and fall back on emotional support from others. This is evident whenever we head into an emotional tailspin due to a terrible day - getting rejected on a job interview or failing an important exam. We reach out to family and friends for support. Our biological immune system also relies on our relationships. In recent animal studies conducted by Dr. P McCabe at the University of Miami, the neurotransmitter oxytocin, which reduces oxidative cell damage, is actually associated with affiliation & social behavior. This implies that with a higher degree of social affiliation (or more supportive relationships), our bodies may produce more oxytocin, which contributes to a more healthy and longer life. This suggests there are real health benefits to relationships.

Have you joined the iB-LIEVE team? Visit the about you page and become a member of our team to increase your happiness and strengthen your biological and psychological immune systems.

Today's Berlin Wall

This week marks the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. As a nine year old I don’t remember much of the event. However, I have come to learn that the iconic moment gave us several great lessons about the right to freedom.

This weeks events raises the question what walls do we face today? The new walls of the 21st century are not physical concrete structures but are walls in the mindsets of people who don’t believe in human progress. We have to understand that overcoming these limiting mindsets is our challenge, our call to action. I believe the best way to break through these walls is through the education and awareness of personal belief systems and the belief systems of others. Through this education we can transcend the notion of ‘me’ and begin to accept the idea of ‘us’.

Victor Frankl on the Power to Choose

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom" ~ Victor Frankl

Victor Frankl's time in the Auschwitz concentration camps was tumultuous. This traumatic personal experience forced Frankl to examine his life, leading him to several realizations. One of the most salient realizations was about an individual's power to choose his or her response to any environmental condition. However simplistic in thought, the notion is often forgotten in practice.

Applying a mindful lens to this quote, we can begin to see how often we become reactors instead of actors to our environment. Becoming aware of the space that exists between stimulus and response empowers us to choose our response in any set of conditions (traffic, teachers, managers, weather conditions, interpersonal conflicts). STOPPING to become aware of and create "that space" enables us to identify our thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and expectations before they turn into our reactions. This enables us to become more active participants in our daily experiences.

With Failure Comes Opportunity

The current unemployment rate in the U.S. is over 9.8 percent. The media continues to report that the US economy has not recovered. New studies show that the divorce rate is idle at 50 percent and websites like 'Fail Blog' publicly chronicle mishaps of everyday people. With these dreary statistics flowing regularly from media outlet, it seems that our society’s psyche is being shaped by the idea of failure. It is possible that a person’s daily outlook is impaired by this news? I believe it’s important to remember that in times of crisis, failure creates opportunity.

Two months ago I moved across the country without a job. I left my family, friends and the coast where I was born and raised. I had spent the past five years building a professional foundation that I was now prepared to let go of. It was a personal decision, but one that potentially contained more risk than benefit. An encouraging reoccuring thought in my decision was that this was going to be a major personal challenge. I trusted in my abilities, remained patient, and stayed committed to my belief that I would find success in this job market.

Throughout the first eight weeks it was difficult to stay positive after experiencing rejection. Attempting to let go of momentary shame from small setbacks is easier in theory than in practice. But with time, I found a job I love and that challenges me. Although there are many people currently out of work I suggest they keep in mind that failure is not the worse thing in the world. The very worst is not to try.

Part 10 of 10: Today is the day!!

The Making Strides for breast cancer event is finally here! It's not to late for you to join the team! Join us at the hatch shell on the Charles River. Also, limited pink iB-LIEVE t-shirt are available. Email joseph.lamendola@gmail or visit goibelieve.com to learn more.

iB-LIEVE would like to thank everyone that helped in making our team so great this year. Big thanks to Joe Lamendola of the iB-LIEVE team for the event.

I got a feeling that today is going to be a great day

Part 9 of 10: The Importance of a Coach.....in overcoming Breast Cancer

In our personal lives, the thought of having a coach is confusing. To admit to needing a coach we must acknowledge that we could benefit from some sort of guidance and support. Breastcancer.org offers one on one online coaching service for anyone who is in need of support and guidance.

iB-LIEVE offers similar coaching for students who are searching for a way to gain awareness about themselves, their strengths and goals. Visit goibelieve.com here workshops to learn more about our services...

Part 8 of 10: Get you Breast Self-Exam On!!

Today kicks off the first day of breast cancer month! That means that there is no better day then today to take a few minutes and do a breast self exam (BSE). You are probably asking yourself, how, when and where. Click here for details and information.

The IB team is only three days a way from making a difference in Boston. Email Joseph.Lamendola@gmail to learn how you can join the team and visit goibelieve.com

Part 7 of 10: Can friends and family make a difference?

A new paper recently published by the American Society for Cancer research suggests that social isolation worsens cancer. The study was conducted in mice and demonstrated that a negative social environment causes increased tumor growth. Read more about the findings by clicking here.

It makes sense that social isolation would worsen clinical outcome. New research is continunally supporting how our environment is altering our gene expression. Social support groups are essential for coping with illnesses on many different levels. Are you supporting a friend or family that has recently been diagnosed with cancer? Breast cancer awareness month starts tomorrow!!

To learn more about how to get involved with raising money and awareness about breast cancer with the iB-LIEVE team, email joseph.lamendola@gmail.com or visit our website at goibelieve.com

Part 6 of 10: What is national breast cancer month?

The National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) organization is a partnership of national public service organizations, professional medical associations, and government agencies working together to promote breast cancer awareness, share information on the disease, and provide greater access to screening services. To learn more about NBCAM visit there website at http://www.nbcam.org/

Join the iB-LIEVE team this month as we raise money and awareness about breast cancer. Visit goibelieve.com to learn more. Also, join us October 4th we take part in Boston's annual 'Making Strides' against breast cancer event. Email joseph.lamendola@gmail.com for details.

Part 5 of 10: Breast Cancer Awareness Ad: "Save the Boobs"?

The younger female demographic (age 25-35) has been a particularly difficult market to reach when raising awareness about breast cancer. With breast cancer month only a few short days away organizations are trying some new methods in gaining attention. One particular commercial is gaining MOST of this attention. This pool party PSA is entitled, "Save the Boobs" and is from the Rethink Breast Cancer charity (founded by M.J. Decoteau).

What do you think? Yah or Nay?

If you are interested in joining the iB-LIEVE team on October 4th in the Making Strides campaign, contact Dan McCaffrey at dmccaff23@gmail.com or visit our website at www.goibelieve.com

Part 4 of 10: Raising Awareness

How do you raise awareness about an idea, cause or movement? Some rally through the streets with posters screaming and shouting. Others chain themselves to posts and trees. iB-LIEVE creates products that are daily reminders to stay connected with your goals, dreams and beliefs. To raise awareness about breast cancer, the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation asked students to create short Public Service Announcements about the cause. Check out one of the video's by clicking here,"DO YOU HAVE 60 SECONDS TO HELP FIGHT BREAST CANCER?"

Part 3 of 10: What is Making Strides?

Making strides is the American Cancer Society's campaign for Breast Cancer. To learn more, visit the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer website or watch this cool video.

Join the iB-LIEVE team October 4th as we Make Strides in Boston.

Part 2 of 10: Stories of Hope

In part 2 of our 10 part series iB-LIEVE is sharing with you a story of hope from a school teacher in Pennsylvania. "Knowledge is key" says Rita Gore, a breast cancer survivor!! Share her story with others to raise awareness about breast cancer.

Only a few days remain for the chance to purchase an "I'm Possible" iB-LIEVE Breast Cancer shirt. All proceeds are donated to the American Cancer Society. Visit goibelieve.com to learn more.

Part 1 of Part 10: 26 days until the walk!

What is breast cancer? Who gets breast cancer? Whats a lymph system?
Click here to learn more about breast cancer, who is vulnerable and why the lymph system is important.

Don't forget to support iB-LIEVE in there goal to rise awareness about breast cancer. Visit goibelieve.com to learn more

Part two of our ten part series will be a story of hope from a breast cancer survivor.

iB-LIEVE Launches 2nd Annual Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign

iB-LIEVE is making strides for breast cancer aWEARness! We are selling pink American Apparel t-shirts and donating the proceeds to the American Cancer Society. This year's message is "I'M POSSIBLE" as we believe the fight against breast cancer starts with each one of us. We encourage you to make a stride with us and wear your pink I'MPOSSIBLE t-shirt proudly in the month of October to raise awareness during Breast Cancer month.

Take that stride with us in Boston on October 4th at the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk on the Charles River!

The IB team BELIEVES in Sarah Winters Papsun

The IB team has had the pleasure of knowing this unique and special person for almost 10 years. This changemaker believes in making a positive difference not only in her local streets but also around the world. Please support Sarah Papsun as she takes on the 3 Peaks in 3 Weeks Challenge event in just five months by helping her meet her fundraising goals and visiting her website.

Good luck Sarah! Keep up the training and all the great work!

Believing through the Emotion

During our country’s current economic downturn each company is being asked to create a better product with fewer resources. As managers ask their staff to do more with less, employees are being placed under more pressure with less pay and/or being asked to produce more projects in less time. These circumstances are never easy and are at times met with emotions such as frustration, doubt and even aggression. But during this time of uncertainty we must remember that our emotions are only temporary and each one of us has the choice to take an alternative path towards the solution. That choice spurs from our internal beliefs.

Believing in our own abilities is more powerful today than ever before. Because we are attempting to balance family and friends, our job, school and the ongoing influx of media we are not afforded the time to invest in emotional excess. We must believe that our core principles, our support system and past experiences will empower each of us to succeed towards the task at hand. Our beliefs will allow us to surpass our boss’, managers’ and even personal expectations by instilling confidence in our results and outcomes. We must remember that the emotion of frustration (or any other kind) is only temporary and that the best resource is not monetary or material, but can be found internally.

Is there a time in your recent life when you had to cut through the emotion?

#5-Eat, Drink, and be Merry

Getting at the day on purpose with focused energy can only be enhanced by a healthy meal. As a nutrition tip, know that a meal with the appropriate amount of protein is good/ a meal with the appropriate amount carbohydrates is also good. But a meal with both is GREAT!!!

I hope ya’ll find this blog series helpful, as I enjoyed very much writing it. Tomorrow morning instead of reaching for the snooze button take these values into consideration and begin to cultivate them as HABIT…

With LOVE and PASSION

#4-Stretch

Happy Friday! Here is the 4 installment in my 5 part series.

Stretching at any point in the day is a great way to get the blood flowing. In the morning following a hot shower spend 3-5 minutes stretching muscles and opening joints. Most of us spend hours upon hours either sitting or standing which has the tendency to create compensatory muscle imbalances and asymmetries. A good stretching routine will help increase your energy. Remember, flexibility refers to muscles and mobility refers to joints make sure your initiating the stretch/movement from the correct joint/muscle.

Have a great weekend!

The Doctor is Within

Pico Iyer’s recent Times article, “The Doctor is Within” reminds me of an idea brought up at a recent iB meeting. Building off the traditional idea of exploring outer space, we bounced around the idea of exploring inner space. After reading the article, I began to question, “What do I fill my mind with and what would Iyer or the Dalai Lama recommend to a believers like me who fills their minds with both empowering and debilitating thoughts?”

They might encourage us to do the following: Explore and clean your inner space, not by "...trying to acquire things, so much as letting go of things (our illusions and attachments)." Attend to the cause of your suffering. Although you may want to, do not spend time pointing fingers attempting to figure out who or what is causing you pain and unhappiness. The cause more often than not is YOU and your self-inflicting thoughts. And as for unhappiness, it is a just position one takes, an attitude of mind. And so, explore inner space, remove harmful thoughts from your mind, and choose your attitude. Do this as often and completely as you can.

Before you go on living your day, fill your mind with the famous words of William James, “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives." And let the words of Viktor Frankl echo in your open mind, “…the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

#3-Go Outside

Here is the third installment of my AM values series.

There is something about going outside early in the morning that just feels good…This excludes the 15 second walk to the car juggling bag, coffee, and keys trying to not be late to work. I am talking about being outside for a few minutes to soke up the day… Rain or shine, cold or hot expose yourself to the elements.

#2-Meditate, Pray, Reflect, Thank, or Ask-

Connect to the Source! Regardless of your spiritual/religious background I believe taking a few minutes to purposefully pause (i.e.- iB-WAY)… and connect with your body, mind, and soul. The suggested method would be 5 minutes of diaphragmatic breathing. Breathing is the most primitive most basic of any activity. Everything starts with the breath so why not start your day with it in the form of one of the aforementioned 5 source connectors (meditate, pray, reflect, thank, or ask).

AM Values

Start the day off Right!!!!
This blog series is inspired by the craziness of my life; and if you are a dreamer/believer I suppose your day is just as crazy as mine. Juggling priorities, distinguishing between what you truly want to do and what you “should do” can be a constant struggle. Hopefully these “morning must’s” will help you attack the day and accomplish all that you can in the time that we are given….So here is part one of the part five series, but let me preface by saying the day is a GIFT!!! Treat it as such. Make the decisions to honor yourself and whatever/whoever you represent…. DO WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN; BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU DO all day everyday!!!!
Here goes:

Part 1
-Get up-
This might sound stupidly simple but we all know it can be difficult (i.e.- snooze button)…Research has shown that the 10-15 minutes you use to “snooze” and “wake up” can actually be detrimental to your energy level. So when the alarm goes of. Get outta bed and make the decision to actively pursue your day. As opposed to waiting for something/one to find you; GO FIND INSPIRATION!!!

Stay tuned for Part 2...

Do you Believe in Fairytales or do you Believe in Science?

We find ourselves in the midst of eclipse hysteria, surprise surprise. If any educated man or woman on this planet decides to postpone work, avoid eating out, or purposely delay the birth of your newborn baby, then think twice. As always, we as a people like to avoid the idea that science is science for a reason. This is not to say that the magnetic pull of both the sun and the moon could cause some abnormal reactions amongst mother earth, but at the end of the day its a natural celestial event and the world will not end because of it. These "joshis" stem from the old age system of belief and so one cannot blame them for thinking this way, but ask yourself this- why didn't Nostradamus note signifcance towards July 22, 2009? Okay, I'm just kidding, but you get my point. Do you believe in fairytales or do you believe in science? That is the question.

IB to NYC!!

The IB team is traveling to NYC this weekend for some exciting meetings. On tap we will be meeting with three phenomenal young inspiring entrepreneurs. First up tomorrow morning is Mike Germano, the president of Carrot Creative. Up next is the fabulous Marissa Shrum, cofounder of IFWERANIT.com Finally, we will be connecting with Mike Radpavar. He is the cofounder of Holstee. We are looking forward to an adventurous weekend! We may even do some celebrating of our soon to be 2nd Birthday (July 26).

Do Our Surroundings Mirror Our Beliefs?

A recently published study by the University of Illinois suggests that when we search for information about our beliefs, we usually look toward places and people that are likely to believe as we do. When we think we are searching for the truth, are we really just searching for confirmation of what we already believe?

Thoughts From East Rutherford

Believers,

It has been about 3 months since I began assisting the New York Giants Strength and Conditioning staff implement the off-season training program. The experience has been nothing short of amazing and will prove to be instrumental in terms of my personal and professional development. There are several characteristics I have observed that, in my opinion, appropriately describe the New York Giants and professional athletics.
1- Pay attention to detail- Both players and coaches take pride in the “little things” there is NOTHING that is overlooked. In the ever-demanding world of professional athletics there is very, very little room for error. Whether it is a specific technique to develop or organizing a practice drill to run more efficiently the goal of the task at hand is perfection and settling for anything less means settling for failure.
2- Master your Craft- Most players and coaches are here for good reason. They have worked hard at what it is they are passionate about and are continually striving to find better ways to grow. I believe this is the definition of success; to continually develop your passion or as Earl Nightingale would similarly define it “the progressive realization of a worthy goal”.
3- Embrace the Uncertainty- On or off the field there is ZERO room for doubt. My old High school football coach would say “If you are going to make a mistake do it at 100%”… This doesn’t mean that there won’t ever be times of uncertainty; it means to work through the uncertainty with confidence in yourself and your abilities and accept that you WILL make mistakes… But also understand that mistakes are great teachers and should not be feared….
These are a few observations that I have found to be very apparent when working amongst elite athletes and coaches. Like many lessons in athletics they can be applicable to any aspect of our lives…. So throughout your day today….Pay attention to detail, continually master your craft, embrace uncertainty and
KEEP BELIEVING!!!

With LOVE and PASSION,
PGA

Welcome and Congrats to a New IB team!

The Broad Street 10 Miler is a run sponsered by the American Cancer Society. Aproximately 25,000 runners registered for the race and 19,000 showed up on that rainy sunday which for many of us, was our first official race. The adreniline carried us across the finish line leaving our clothing drenched but our bodies with an incredible high. There was 8 iB-LIEVERS on the team and perhaps this is the beginning of a long story that shall take us across the nation into many other races. Next stop- Chicago in September.

StartingBloc is a Believer!

Recently, iB-LIEVE's very own Dan McCaffrey was accepted as a candidate for the 2009 StartingBloc Greater Boston Institute for Social Innovation hosted by MIT Sloan and Tufts Fletcher School. StartingBloc educates, empowers and connects emerging leaders to drive positive social change across sectors. Dan will join 120 other chosen leaders made up of individuals from 10 different countries, 60% minorities during a four-day institute for social innovation. Congratulations and good luck!