Attitude for the change maker in you

Attitude, along with a few other qualities, is what separates me from you. At the core it is what separates us from our parents when they were our age. My parents grew up in a time when people opposed the Vietnam War and advocated for world peace by participating in public demonstrations. They expressed their attitude, their frustrations, and their happiness by actively engaging in a community. The medium in which we express our attitude has evolved since the 1960’s and 70’s, but yet generations and decades are still coming together and creating a harmonized attitude.

The Breakfast Club, one of the more iconic movies of a generation, helps explain the teenage angst that many were feeling at that time. It was displayed through a medium that helped define their voice. The late John Hughes activated this voice and empowered a generation to dig deep and discover the possibilities aside from what their parents or teachers said. In the 1990’s a generation became enveloped by music videos. The Smashing Pumpkins 1979 video and song is about an attitude that consists of hope and optimism, but includes an internal resistance. The art of music video’s allowed a culture to relate to different music genres that suited its attitude. And within the last ten years people have found a personal freedom that has displaced the middle man and allowed for the ability to express their attitude in real time. We are no longer looking towards directors or musicians to be moved. We are sharing our thoughts, feelings, and frustrations through our own videos, photos, status updates, or 140 character posts.

You may already be asking yourself, what’s next? What is the next medium that we will use to express our attitudes? But I believe that there is a more important question to ask. And that is, what is the attitude that will define the next decade, the next generation? What is going to be the attitude that will separate itself from its ancestors?

By Eddie McCaffrey

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Eddie is a Government Relations professional working at The California Group, a public affairs firm located in San Francisco, CA

Attitude for the scholar in you

William James, a pioneer in the field of psychology, once wrote, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”

The study of psychobiology, which has received more attention in recent years, scientifically examines the influence of our attitudes on our lives. Over the last 20 years, researchers have developed new and innovative ways to study the mind-body connection. Dr. Dennis Charney, one of the most prominent psychobiologists, pried into this field of study by examining war veterans. Charney’s work aims to understand what psychological and biological factors characterize soldiers who endure the trauma of battle and afterward, recover mentally and physically. He compares war veterans who are healthy and successfully functioning in life to those who suffer from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and are struggling to function. Charney defines the veterans who’ve adapted in the face of extreme stress or adversity as stress-resilient and those who have been diagnosed with PTSD as stress-vulnerable.

Among many intriguing findings, Charney’s research has identified a number of relevant character traits that seem to differentiate resilient from vulnerable people. From his earlier work at the NIMH and later work at Mt. Sinai in NYC, his research group has revealed a set of attitudes and behaviors that can help maintain well-being during stress. The following list was adapted from a review written by Charney and his colleagues in 2007 (to learn more, click here).

Anyone can see from this list that our attitudes matter. They greatly impact our well-being and ability to function and grow during adverse times. If you have a poor attitude, however, do not fear. From Charney’s work, it is clear that people can learn to embrace and cultivate positive, flexible, and constructive attitudes towards life. Start now. Changing your mind will change your life.

by Kevin Bickart

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Kevin is an MD/PhD student at Boston University studying the Neurobiology of Belief.

Attitude for the leader in you

“I’MPOSSIBLE” is an attitude. It is a way of life. It is the courage to look at the impossible and say, “I am possible.” Great leaders understand the importance of attitude. They understand that not just any attitude will get them to where they want to go. But having the right attitude is the difference maker. I’MPOSSIBLE is the right attitude - it is the attitude of success!

Writers from many different fields express the importance and power of an I’MPOSSIBLE attitude. From self-help to psychology and business to leadership, research shows that our minds are powerful. Beyond research, we can all attest to the fact that our attitudes, whether negative or positive, shape the way we think, feel, and act. I believe that if we can shift our negative or limiting attitudes to be positive and empowering, we will be able to accomplish incredible endeavors. Others have said it better than me – look below to see what famous leaders have to say about the I’MPOSSIBLE attitude.

“When we look out into the world, we do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are…The world is simply a mirror. Simply put, if you are in a wonderful mood, if you’ve just fallen in love, the world is a glorious place full of beauty and promise. If you are miserable, if you just lost a pile of money in the stock market, the world is a hateful, hopeless place in which nothing good will ever happen for you. The World did not change.” Cheri Huber – Making a Change For Good

I’MPOSSIBLE is about looking at the world in a particular way - in a wondrous way!

“I believe that stories, again, not the ones people tell us but the ones we tell ourselves, determine nothing less than our personal and professional destinies…Participate in your story rather than observing it from afar; make sure it is a story that compels you…After all, you’re not just the author of your story, but the main character, the hero." Jim Loehr – The Power of Story

I’MPOSSIBLE is about seeing yourself as the Hero of your own story!

“The sun shown on me, it’s true, as my brother Michael always tells me. But my story is as much about perseverance and drive as it is of talent and luck. I willed it to happen. I took my life into my own hands, learned from anyone I could, grabbed what opportunity I could, and molded my success step by step.” Howard Schultz – CEO of Starbucks Coffee

I’MPOSSIBLE is about willing it to happen – taking your life into your hands and purposefully molding it!

In peace,

Jonathan Kroll

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Jonathan is an educator at Emerson College in Boston preparing for his PhD in the fall.

Attitude for the professional in you

I define ATTITUDE as the complex mental state involving our beliefs, feelings, values, and dispositions, which direct us to act in certain ways. Earl “Jedi” Nightingale truly understood how our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us: “Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.” Our attitudes are magnetic. Those people with positive attitudes (people who choose to be happy, optimistic about the future, and believe in themselves and others) will attract other people with positive attitudes and often times inspire those who hold negative attitudes. The reverse is true too. Therefore, it is vital that we become aware of our attitudes so that we can choose the attitudes that will help shape and reflect the world in which we want to live.

If you question the significant role our attitudes play in shaping our lives, just look to our political leaders, CEOs of Fortune 500 Companies, spiritual leaders, and professional athletes. They have all excelled in their particular fields due to hard work, talent, and positive attitudes. For example, Rafael Nadal has the attitude of a true champion – he never gives up and always believes that he can win no matter who his opponent is, no matter what the score is, and no matter how tired he may be.

Moreover, Rafael Nadal attributes his success to having a positive attitude: "If you play with a good mental attitude, even if you are not 100 percent, you can win because you win more with your heart, with your will power than with anything else.”

Granted, Rafael Nadal’s natural ability and work ethic helped shape him into the true tennis champion that he is, but he never would have reached such a high level of success without having a positive attitude. That’s not to say that if we choose positive attitudes, then we can play tennis as well as Nadal. However, we all have potential – some more than others. In order to play at our highest potential, we need to take Nadal’s advice and choose a positive attitude, because when all else is equal (skill level, physical fitness, strength, speed, and size) your heart and mind will be the deciding factors in whether you win or lose. And because you can choose what you put and keep in your heart and mind, I recommend you choose to fill them both with positivity.

By Joseph Discepola

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Joseph P. Discepola Esq. practices civil litigation in Fort Lauderdale with Marc A. Kaufman & Associates.

Attitude for the athlete in you

It is only appropriate to relate this blog to the topic of conversation in the sports world this weekend, the NFL Draft. It is the time of year when months and months of scouting, studying, researching, analyzing, and dissecting an athlete both on and off the field culminates into what we see as spectators; a young man walking on the stage at radio city music hall to pose for a picture with the NFL Commissioner holding his jersey and wearing his new team’s colors. Although the athlete standing on stage has stood half-naked in front of countless NFL scouts and has been reduced to the “measurables” – height, weight, bench press, vertical jump, 40yard dash time – his potential as an NFL football player still remains in question. Even if a player is drafted, whether or not a he will succeed in the NFL is anything but certain.

If a player's success depended only on what can be seen and measured on the outside the pre-draft analysis would not have developed into such and art and science. The truth is that the one thing that can’t be measured happens to be the largest determining factor in a player realizing his potential...his ATTITUDE.

Attitude is a word that is very often spoken but not so often understood. It has seemingly endless implications in explaining a good football player. Whether it is describing an athlete capable of making responsible decisions off the field or a player who is pleasant to be around in the locker room, or if he has a “get knocked down 7, stand up eight” attitude when the going gets tough late in the game. Nowadays coaches and scouts refer to these types of players as “character-guys” or “program-guys”, meaning he is a guy who has a positive attitude no matter what the circumstances are, so-called a resilient attitude. He is comfortable with his identity as a person and as a player and has a healthy perspective regarding his place on the team, in his city, and in society in general. He understands that he is not entitled to anything because he can “run fast and jump high.” He is grounded by the values of hard work, perseverance, accountability and respect. These values seem to have been much more prevalent years ago When Pride Still Mattered, to use the title of Vince Lombardi’s Biography by David Marantis. However, there are players who have and continue to exemplify these values on and off the field. There is one such player that comes to mind when I think of the ideal attitude.

WalterPayton is not only known for his “never say die” running style but also for his kind nature off the field. Every year the NFL gives the Walter Payton Award to the man who exemplifies hard work, perseverance, and respect on and off the field. It is an attitude that every player should strive for and every team should invest in come NFL draft time.

Stay believing,

Pete Athans #27

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Empathy for the change maker in you

The only way that I can explain the importance of empathy in change makers is through a friend’s story.

She told me that she still remembers it as if it was yesterday. In September, 2005 she was sitting watching T.V. with the news coverage of Hurricane Katrina. As a teacher, an image of the disaster stood out from all the rest - a photo of a child floating upside down, motionless in the water. From the image, the child looked dead. At that moment, she felt that she had to do something. She knew she had to make a change. Because the school year had only just begun, she started flying down to New Orleans every other weekend to help with the rebuilding. It was in that time that she began to form a relationship not only with others who were helping with the same cause, but with the city itself. So, on June 13, 2006, six days after the school year had ended, she packed her car and drove south.

At that time the schools in New Orleans were destroyed physically and were internally corrupt. As a teacher by trade she began getting involved with several different Charter schools. After two years of teaching she decided that she wanted to make an even bigger impact on the school system and became the Academic Support Coordinator for a large contingent of Charter schools. From this position she was able to help set the curriculum and begin to raise the expectations of what students in that city should receive as an education.

Four years later she is still part of an ever-growing charter program in New Orleans and is now in charge of implementing a new sustainable recycling program for those same schools. She says that “things are far from perfect and there have been a lot of hard times, but that her life has been a dream and could not imagine being anywhere else." Moved by one photo, she became driven by empathy to make change in others’ lives. This, in my mind, exemplifies the definition and power of empathy.

By Eddie McCaffrey

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Empathy for the scholar in you

Emotional contagion

Our brains have a special system that allows us to catch emotions from other people. Like colds, emotions are contagious. They spread from person to person. Like viruses hurling through the air in sneeze droplets that enter our bodies without us knowing, emotions often fly under our radars from one person to another and enter our bodies without us noticing a thing. Yet we feel down or up because of it. Somehow we’ve caught a negative or positive mood from another person.

EMBODYING EMOTIONS

The built-in brain system for empathy is what allows us to catch emotions from other people. Some researchers believe that this system is in part made of mirror neurons, or brain cells that reflect what others are feeling and thinking. In effect, they enable us to simulate others’ experiences so that we can feel what they might be feeling. Researchers believe that this simulation system moves our bodies to mirror the emotional expressions of others (a slumped head, a smile, or grimace of pain) to embody what they are feeling. The more closely we embody, or simulate, the feelings of others, the more accurately we can estimate what they are indeed feeling.

NOTICE OTHERS TO FEEL COMPASSION

Picking up on the emotions of others by feeling it ourselves is a prerequisite for compassion. Without feeling others, we cannot feel compassion. Therefore, to be compassionate towards other people, we must first notice them. This rather simple task has proven to be most difficult in today’s fast paced world where getting ahead requires plugging in. Plugged into our digital companions, our cell phones, iPods, laptops, and so on, we struggle to notice anyone but ourselves. We have become quite self-absorbed. In fact, Daniel Batson’s research shows that when people focus on themselves at the expense of others, they are less likely to help those in need. Whereas when people redirect their focus from themselves to others, they act more compassionately. When we take the time to notice other people, we can notice how they feel and in turn we naturally feel compassion. I encourage you to take a moment everyday to notice the people around you. Feel them. If they are in need, you’ll be more likely to help them.

See Daniel Goleman make the link between empathy and compassion in his Ted Talk.

by Kevin Bickart

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Empathy for the leader in you

I’ve been watching various segments of the new Discovery Channel program, Life. Two nights ago, I viewed the ‘Making of Life’, which showed the artistry, patience, and innovation necessary to film some of the most amazing wildlife footage. While watching, I found myself very compelled to listen to two different crews talk about their experience in the wild.

One crew was stationed in a remote tropical island to film komodo dragons’ eating habits while the other was stationed on an arctic island to video killer whales. In both situations, they set up shop and waited to see what happened. On the tropical island, the crew went to the sole watering hole on the island and watched a water buffalo become a meal for six komodo dragons. While on the Arctic Island, the crew captured footage of killer whales feeding on baby pup seals. On both islands, the film crew made connections and learned the personalities of the prey. In short, both of them described how it was very difficult to be on assignment and simply film life happening, without the ability to intervene and come to the rescue.

As empathic leaders, we can use our skills as nurturers to assist those who are in the midst of tough situations. Often, leaders will witness others in pain or debating difficult decisions. Leaders also serve as the go-to person when something frustrating happens to another. When these things happen, the leader’s best tool is his/her ability to listen. As leaders, we can provide open ears to truly hear what the others are saying to allow them to wrestle and come to grips with what is going on for them. Leaders can be of significant service when they utilize empathic listening to understand the other. By authentically listening to the stories and situations of others, we can help them unravel their feelings and come to understand the complexities of the circumstance. By doing so, we help them engage in the ever-necessary reflection that will help them get to a better place. With empathy, we can enable life to happen and watch others come alive by their own means.

by Jonathan Kroll

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