Empathy is the capability to directly identify with, understand, and vicariously experience another person's situation, feelings, and motives. Therefore, empathy is a form of communication rife with compassion that allows people to connect with each other on a deeper level. It is a valuable way to build your personal and professional relationships. The better your relationships at work, the more you will enjoy your work environment. The more you enjoy your work environment, the more productive you will be, and therefore, likely to succeed. However, the ability to empathize develops with life experience, and therefore, it may be difficult for a young professional just starting out to really appreciate what their older and more experienced colleagues are going through. So, if you’re a young professional, don’t worry – you’ll get there. In the meantime, just be open-minded and seek to understand people, their situations, feelings, and motives – even if you haven’t experienced them before. By making too many assumptions and passing judgment on others without being informed about their situation, feelings, and motives will likely result in an incorrect answer to the question: “Why did he/she do X, Y, and Z?”
For example: Suppose your company just hired a woman named Mary, to perform comparable work to you at the same salary. What if I told you she starts work 30 minutes later than you and leaves 30 minutes earlier. Would you assume that she is lazy and unmotivated? Would you assume that you are a harder worker? Would you resent her making the same amount of money but working less? Would you start to complain to your other coworkers? Would it negatively impact your ability to work well with Mary on projects?
What if I told you that Mary was more productive in 8 hours of work than you are in 9 hours? What if I told you that Mary is a single mother and needs to drop her 4 year old son off and pick him at day care every day? What if I told you that Mary eats lunch at her desk while you took an hour for lunch every day? What if I told you that Mary worked from home for 2 hours every night after she puts her son to bed? Would you think Mary is more motivated and harder working than you thought before? Would you be impressed that Mary could accomplish all of those “assignments” in one day while carrying more responsibilities than you? Would your respect for Mary grow?
Moral of the story is: Don’t be too quick to assume or pass judgment. If you have to make an assumption, assume there is always more than meets the eye. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. In doing so, you’ll be able to communicate with your friends, family, and coworkers more effectively, so much so that you’ll reach a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other. In turn, your relationships will likely become richer and more meaningful. Or at the very least, the clarity of your perception will improve and you can at least make an informed decision about how to answer the question: “Why does he or she do X, Y, and Z?”
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