Empathy for the scholar in you

Empathy is the ability to understand other people’s feelings. Interestingly, our ability to feel others depends on our ability to feel our own emotions. The more in tune we are with our own emotions the more in tune we are with others'. Why is that? Research suggests that when we empathize with others’ emotions, our brains simulate the emotion in ourselves. In other words, part of empathizing with others is to actually feel their pain. In fact, recent neuroscience studies show that viewing a person in pain activates some of the same brain regions that are involved in actually feeling pain. Pictured below are some of the brain regions that are engaged both when participants felt pain and when they observed pictures of other people feeling pain.

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Empathy enables humans to do two main things: 1. Recognize, attend, and attune to others who are feeling pain, happiness, sadness, distress; and so on; 2. Learn from observing others’ experiencing these feelings in order to mimic or avoid whatever actions lead them into their current state. Our brains were built to empathize with others. Empathy is a survival skill that allows us to befriend others, enables mothers to know when their children are endangered, and helps couples fall in sync with one another to sustain a fulfilling, productive relationship. Maintaining such social bonds, for humans, pays off. Forming strong connections with others doesn't only make us feel good psychologically and protect us from stressors, anxiety, and loneliness, but it also boosts our immune systems. In a study by Cohen and colleagues, of Carnegie Mellon University, they show that people who have a greater number of diverse social relationships have stronger immunity to the common cold. Accurate empathizers seem to benefit in other ways as well. Daniel Goleman, in his book Social Intelligence the New Science of Human Relationships, writes that people who are better at understanding others’ feelings and act empathically also communicate the best, are better leaders, and are liked the most. The expression of empathy however, has to be spontaneous and genuine. If it is contrived, others pick up on it and the flow of conversation becomes awkward and the personal connection is lost.

If you feel that you are not very good at empathizing with others, do not fear. Empathy can be learned. It can be cultivated. Goleman’s book is a great resource for you. The short story: First, attune to your own feelings; watch them flow throughout the day over a week or two. And then watch the feelings flow through others over a week or two. Really pay attention to their feelings. Listen to them. Goleman suggests that good listening is the key to accurately feeling others and acting in a way the lets them know you feel them. With practice your brain will begin to simulate others’ feelings so that you can literally say, "I feel you."

by Kevin Bickart

e: kbickart@goibelieve.com

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